Beetlejuice is a musical with music and lyrics by Eddie Perfect and book by Scott Brown and Anthony King. After Adam and Barbara realized that Lydia wasn't like the rest of her family, they didn't want Betelgeuse to scare her anymore. DELIA: Dont worry Otho, well put you in the Soulbox! BEETLEJUICE: HIS NAME WAS KEVIN! LYDIA: Adam, Barbara? Juno: The whorehouse was my idea! BARBARA: Handbook For The Recently Deceased? LYDIA: Wow, this is going to be such an interesting night! You are tougher than you look. You asked me, I'm answering. Mom was the ghost of Edgar Allan Poe! And Im still here! Now rise, and be released from death! And now, finally theyre about to die! LYDIA: Really? Thats what I want too. this hilarious musical tells the story of lydia deetz, a strange and unusual teenager whose whole life changes when she meets a recently deceased couple and a demon with a thing . BEETLEJUICE: Thats where tote bags come from. You know, socially liberal, but fiscally conservative. Maxie Dean loves shrimp! BARBARA: Lydia, no, you don't know what will happen. LYDIA: The ghosts who live here want you gone! She was my whole world. I need to really live, really connect! BARBARA: Adam, I dont think we survived that fall. BEETLEJUICE See, this is what life is. Complimentary and Deeply Discounted Shows. Just put me in . The Maitlands: More Boring Than Brigadoon Thats right, I said it. Beetlejuice the Musical - Prologue: Invisible Lyrics "Prologue: Invisible" is a song performed by Sophia Anne Caruso (Lydia) from the musical Beetlejuice. NEVER MIND, HE'LL BE YOUR G-U-I-D-E TO THE OTHER SIDE, I'M THE B-TO-THE-DOUBLE-E-T-L-E TO THE J-U-I-C-E, BEETLEJUICE: I understand it's a lot to process, but, THE GOOD NEWS IS YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE DIED IN YOUR OWN HOUSE, THAT MEANS THE TWO OF YOU SHOULD STICK AROUND, A LITTLE ON THE POTTERY BARN AND DRY WHITE WINE SIDE, AS FOR ME, I'VE BEEN SCARING FOR MILLENNIA, I'M THE BIO-EXORCIST GIVING HOUSES ENEMAS, BEETLEJUICE AND ENSEMBLE: PUSH OUT ALL THE BREATHERS, BEETLEJUICE: AND I DO IT FOR THE LOVE OF IT, 'CAUSE THIS GUY HAPPENED TO BE PASSING BY, TO GIVE YOU CONTROL OF YOUR SOUL FOR THE WHOLE "BEING DEAD" THING (AH AH AH AH AH AH AH! EVEN IF YOU'RE BORN WITH CONGENITAL HEART DISEASE, AND YOU COULD BE KILLED BY A RANDOM SNEEZE, JUST GONNA RING THE BELL OF THIS CREEPY LOOKING HOUSE, AND I'M HERE TODAY TO SUPPORT THE GIRL SCOUTS BY SELLING COOKIES, GIRL SCOUT: WELL, I'VE GOT CHOCOLATE, BANANA AND OAT BRAN, PECAN, GIRL SCOUT: BUT, WE'RE REALLY NOT SUPPOSED TO, GIRL SCOUT: Dont worry! Lydia: i can't change anything. LYDIA: Mom?! All you gotta do is say my name! Well, I should probably get going. The rule bookI present: The Handbook for The Recently Deceased. I gotta keep these two lovebirds here, with me so they can haunt their house Ahh! BARBARA: Cant you just scare the people for us? Mmmmmm, yes! LYDIA: I have a mother! CHARLES: Delia Schlimmer, will you do me the honor of signing a prenuptial agreement and be my second wife? Dont you remember when we moved in? ITS ALMOST A GIVEN THAT I WILL ALL SOON BE ALIVE. LYDIA: Mother nearest, heart how dearest. The full DC BJ script (to audience.) All ganging up against the mean lady from hell! Unless, are you horribly disfigured? YOU CAN DIE TOGETHER! *Our system only provides suggested monologues or songs for select characters if we have matching monologues and song information in our database. Its gonna be so good for all of us. BARBARA: We are! Dad theres ghosts! Wait! BEETLEJUICE: Well, yeah, because youre not recently deceased. CHARLES: Sweet Jesus, Delia we need a real exorcist! CHARLES: Lydia! DELIA: Youre breaking up with me AND firing me? Stripey Ghost Man? He needs therapy! These are the biggest changes that . The man next to me is the one I want. (a beat.) But you wanted your mommy. What else do you have to do, Mami? Ooohh? ADAM: Hang on. Whos there? CHARLES: OkayOtho! GIRL SCOUT: Okay Well- Maybe I should come back another time when your parents are home? (DELIA and CHARLES make out on the table.). Beetlejuice : I'm Lydia Deetz and I'm of sound mind. CHARLES: Oh yes, Lydia, she uh, Im afraid she wont be joining us. That means its working! MAXINE: OH STOP! Im his fifth wife! OTHO: Delia? JUNO: You are the embarrassment. LYDIA: Whats wrong sugarlumps? Were going to play a little game! Give me just one more BEETLEJUICE: It's showtime! What if Lydia walks in? Well be right back. Happiness! Lydia: No! Do the research! I like to think I put my own spin on it, but whats the point, you know? ADAM: What other choice do we have? I see you. BARBARA: Excuse me, this is all happening very fast, we just died and now youre here, and now theyre here and-. I dont know what kind of game youre playing right now, but-. Just like, what if Im never happy again? Now, Im gonna go find a room to bless. I didnt like strangers when I was alive. If you would like to give a public . Just a bunch of Howards and then you die. LYDIA: YeahItd be terrible if we all let each other down, DELIA: (Rings Triangle.) BEETLEJUICE: Well then, go fuck yourself. Act I 1. Ah! BEETLEJUICE: No. New Car smell people LYDIA: And we, are old book smell people. Can I bring her back? One minute youre on top of the world, and the next minute, you feel like no one will ever love you This guy knows what Im talking about! Were going to live here! Jesus Christ, why do you gotta be so sexy? Its okay at Christmas, but the rest of the year, you gotta put it away! Which reminds me, I got you a new dress for your fathers business dinner! LYDIA: You know what? Im going to suck your ghostinto it and trap it there forever!. (doorbell rings.) (an idea.) Knock three times. Today, we come together to mourn the passing of Emily Deetz. Youll have to open the door to find out. LYDIA: NO! (LYDIA stabs him.) DELIA: No, I thought youd be proud of me for taking inititAHve. When she entered the kitchen there was Beetlejuice at the table, working on a crossword, wearing brand new reading glasses. People dont read. ; Establishing Character Moment: Adam and the spider. Its the one room in the house thats still ours! You old swaddler! BEETLEJUICE: I mean you literally jumped into hell to get away from me. "PROLOGUE: INVISIBLE" ENSEMBLE: DAYLIGHT COME AND ME WAN' GO AH, AH, AH, AH, AH, AH, AH, AH PRIEST: In times like these, we have no words, we have only each other. Dead Mom loved our house. I WANT SOMETHING TO BELIEVE IN, OR IM DONE TAKE ME WHERE MY SOUL CAN RUN, OR ILL BE IN MY BEDROOM WAKE ME WHEN IM TWENTY-ONE, WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE HIM SAY YOUR NAME. happy! LYDIA: We made a good team! Im here to find my-, MISS ARGENTINA: Girl! Beetlejuice The Musical Merchandise, Music & Videos - Click . Its the last day of their entire lives and this is what theyre talking about! BEETLEJUICE: PRETTY MUCH, ANY GHOST'LL DO, SURE. DELIA: Charles, that was the most spiritually nourishing rogering you have ever given me. Demon's Dance. AND YOU'LL BE LIKE, "WHAT?" BARBARA: Fool your friends, fun at parties I DID IT! New York, NY, Linda Ray BEETLEJUICE: DON'T YOU WANNA SEE DAD SUFFER? LYDIA: Im gonna use it to bring my mom back from the Netherworld. JUNO: STOP! PRIEST: In times like these, we have no words, we have only each other. BARBARA: We are not aluminum siding people! It has to stop. But what if it doesnt last? LYDIA: I cant change anything! CHARLES: No, we have to stop. 2019 Broadway Beetlejuice the Musical Songs with Lyrics. IM ALIVE! Lydias vision was right! (BEETLEJUICE does the same to ADAM. I have something to say. BEETLEJUICE: For a price. And also, I dont model anymore. You! So, take a breath, metaphorically, and just remember. LYDIA: Excuse me, are you ghosts? And you won't believe how far I'll go. BEETLEJUICE: Holy crap! Ive already been to hell and back. BEETLEJUICE: Get in there Babs! BEETLJUICE: You know overnight delivery cost extra. Oh god, Im so worried now. And there is a way. So, what do you say? All recently deceased individuals, form a line! do not like him! Ive learned a lot. You know, my guru Otho says Depression is like an ugly sweater. OH! I had it open for a second but the Maitlands slammed it shut. ADAM: Kill?!??!? And then, spring the trap. Did I hear the dinner bell? Beetlejuice is ruder, raunchier and frankly, more repellent than ever in this original musical based on Tim Burton's wonderfully demented film. BARBARA: You cant make every wall an accent wall! Where are you going? Oh, speaking of luggage, have you met my fourth wife? Oh, my God! Home Explore Songbook Top Artists Groups Apps Get VIP. NEIGHBOR: Hello?! See that tiny little house up there? CHARLES: I already did change. CHARLES:Yes, but we have to move forward! Lift with your back! Also, no liquids! BARBARA: So, now what? Make My Millennium!". Welcome to our model home. And the teacher was Wiccan! The Whole 'Being Dead' Thing - Betelgeuse and Ensemble 3. OKAY? Okay, chapter one. THIS FEATURE IS ONLY AVAILABLE FOR PRO MEMBERS. LYDIA: Dad! This book is dangerous! (more chase.) It didn't work. ADAM: I know, I know, me too. Nothing would give me more pleasure than to kill those people downstairs. Chuck, I never leave home without them (he and MAXINE erupt into laughter.) CHARLES: My god, woman. I'm talkin' jump-scares, the jerky Japanese ghost-walk. MAXIE DEAN: Chuck, you moron! 2) Starbuck 3) John 8: 12: "I am the light of the world. We got any kids in the audience? All Ive gotta do is get a living person to say my name three times. Im ready for some people to die. The show opened in April 2019 at the Winter Garden Theatre but, just under a year later, the pandemic shuttered it prematurely. THEY'RE SWEET, BUT I'M A DEMON STRAIGHT FROM HELL, (LYDIA pushes BEETLEJUICE off of the roof.). Own that. Im so glad you could make it! LYDIA: But Dad, theres no one in it. So, I have an idea. Very good energy. (snaps photo.) I am positive I quoted my guru Otho who said Sadness is like kale salad. "Let's turn on the juice and see what shakes loose.". I know that my name's on the marquee, but youre going to have to watch a new show. BEETLEJUICE: The people who bought your house! I am utterly alone. Smash. BEETLEJUICE: ZWEEBY, BEEBY, BOO-BAH-BAH-DEE! I am utterly alone. I, myself, am strange and unusual." -Lydia Deetz. Im sorry I just couldnt help myself. Mr. Delia! Oh my god! (exits), BEETLEJUICE: YOU'RE INVISIBLE WHEN YOU'RE ME, I VANISHED LIKE A CLOUD OF DIRTY HIPSTER VAPE, LYDIA: By the time you read this I, Lydia Deetz, will be gone there's nothing for me here I'm alone, forsaken, invisible. DELIA: AHHH! Every dead person gets one, but since youre not actually dead, wanna see a sad puppet show? And you heard what he said, any ghost can do that possession stuff. (chuckling.) Step 4: Select a monologue. She needs somebody to help her get past all this. I dont know get it, but Im a part of it! LYDIA: Classic Bait and Switch, Oldest trick in the book! Respect. Tagged: Rhymes, Juice, Loose. Put er there! I hid it in case that dancing football player caught me. LYDIA: Dad! ADAM Hey old girl! CENSUS AGENT: Hello, I'm with the U.S. Census Bureau, got time for a few, OH MY GOD! THIS IS GONNA BE SO GOOD! OTHO: So glad that you asked. BEETLEJUICE: THAT IS THE SOUND, OF CLEAN, WHITE, SHORTS TURNING BROWN, LYDIA: THE SOUND OF A SCREAM, IS MUSIC TO ME, A SOUND THAT SAYS FIFTEEN YEARS FULL-TIME THERAPY, BEETLEJUICE: TRAUMA AND FEAR, IT SINGS IN MY EAR, BEETLEJUICE/LYDIA: AIN'T IT THE SWEETEST NOISE AROUND, THAT BEAUTIFUL SOUND. Goes to the door. There are people downstairs. Now we both got Dead Moms! Like these weirdos. Right now, just outside the walls of this house, nestled in the hatch back of my Toyota Prius, is a mysterious object of my own design. . There's lots of cool stuff in there! And choosing the people you wanna share it with! Well that was a soliloquy, so you're the one who's being rude. An infinite abyss of nothing! Ongoing. YES I DO! Youre under so much stress, you must relax! Live a life of love! Before Juno sees you. You know what would make all this even more awesome? Beetlejuice truly hits me in a special part of my heart. Lets save Lydia and get the hell out of here. BARBARA: We're ghosts, damn it! BEETLEJUICE: Spoiler Alert: shes never going to eat that sandwich! (Instrumental with screams layered as BEETLEJUICE is unleashed.). LYDIA: A SOUND THAT MEANS NO MORE CONDESCENDING ADULTS HANGING AROUND, BEETLEJUICE/LYDIA: EACH WAIL AND EACH MOAN. I never said-, LYDIA: You never say ANYTHING! THE MAITLANDS: BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE? I realized that I dont want to go through life alone. I had a vision once. Beetlejuice Wiki is a FANDOM Movies Community. Thats why youre here. ADAM: Okay, that Wasn't as much fun as I thought it'd be ADAM: We are not kombucha people. Now you remember what my guru Otho says! Ah! LYDIA: Recently Deceased. BEETLEJUICE: I KNOW THAT BEGGARS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS, THE MAITLANDS, CHOIR: BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE. CHARLES: Because it hurts too much! BARBARA: Yeah! ADAM: I didnt think it was that weak! Results may vary. And I'm just Hamlet going insane. Sophia Anne Caruso, who originated the role of Lydia Deetz in Broadway's Beetlejuice, has exited the production as of its Wednesday, Feb. 19 show. LYDIA: He doesnt see me either. Hibiscus_Flower. This is such an interesting font! DELIA: Lydia, look, I know that youre upset, but maybe this is meant to be. BARBARA: Were just a normal couple. Do you understand what Im proposing? Can I see? frowns at the MUSIC. BARBARA: It was SO hard! Some things work better in the movie, some work better in the musical. We are invisible. OTHO: Its Kevin! CHARLES: Damnit! In the video, Baldwin recalls the one thing that gave him hope about the film was the performance of his co-star, Michael Keaton, whom he describes as a "comedy Annie Oakley.". Call 9-1-1! ADAM: You know, hate is a very strong word. This is amazing! ANY GHOST CAN DO THAT IN LESS THAN ONE LESSON. I am angry! I took a very big risk with this place. Do you remember what I said? Lydia, I know you wont let me down. DELIA: Lydia, you cannot just sneak up on people and take their essence. OTHO: Thats the one. OH! Our whole life is in that house. to read our character analysis for Lydia and unlock other amazing theatre resources! JUNO: Report to processing! 24m. For we do not walk alone., GROWN UPS WANT TO FIX THINGS, WHEN THEY CANT, IT ONLY FILLS THEM WITH SHAME, IS IT BEING GREEDY TO NEED SOMEBODY TO SEE ME AND SAY MY NAME. AH AH AH AH!). Yeah Yeah Yeah. You were so desperate for somebody to love you that you act like a damn fool. No one likes it, throw it out.. So, Im selling our house. ADAM: Well that wasnt very nice. You'll know that I've abandoned hope. "YES I DO! BEETLEJUICE: Sorry, kid. Scripture tells us, Sorrow not. (a beat.) Sometimes puppet shows are sad. Thank you for being here. Its not a fad! Barbara, its like one of our classes! OH-OH-OH-OH-OH-OH-OH-OH. CHARLES: Hey! Shes a demon, and she doesnt get me. ME SAY DAY, ME SAY DAY, ME SAY DAY, ME SAY DAY, ME SAY DAY-O! It has u but doesnt have a me. Devoted wife to Charles, beloved mother to Lydia. CHARLES: Thats because Im trying to Delia, do your job please, life coach her. BEETLEJUICE: Oh yeah? All I want is for someone, anyone to look my way and say Hey. New York, NY, Accessibility Statement Terms Privacy |StageAgent 2020. *attempts to jump again. Leave this house! Your mother loved this song. BEETLEJUICE: (snaps fingers and the Sandworm attacks) Thats why not! LYDIA: Dad came back for me? So I kinda found the original script for the DC run of Beetlejuice. However, there was no reasoning with the spirit, but Adam and Barbara had a slight advantage in the fact that they weren't stuck in Adam's miniature town. He was already dead. ADAM: CHEFS WHO USE TOO MUCH SAGE WHEN THEY MAKE BEURRE NOISETTE, BEETLEJUICE: WELL, THERE'S LOTS THERE TO USE, TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND GIVE ME YOUR BEST PRIMAL SCREAM, BEETLEJUICE: TRY IT AGAIN MAYBE THIS TIME PRETEND LIKE YOU MEAN IT. Gonna go on a little vision quest, find my dad. We invisibles have to stick together! New neighbors?! Im gonna need some help! DELIA: SUCKS-YES! CHARLES: Delia, you erotic astronaut! I FOUND MY FREQUENCY CRYSTALS SPEAK TO ME, EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON, THERE ARE SPIRITUAL GUIDES ABOVE LOOK UP AND SEE 'EM, JUST LISTEN TO THE MELODY THE UNIVERSE SINGS, 'CAUSE EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON, THE UNIVERSE IS JUST THE CONTENTS OF TIME, MATTER AND SPACE, LYDIA: NINETY-ONE BILLION LIGHT-YEARS ACROSS AND THE EARTH'S A SMALL PLACE, THE PACIFIC ISLANDS ARE SINKING BUT NEGATIVE THINKING IS HARDLY THE CAUSE, YOU THINK LIFE IS ALL UNICORNS AND RAINBOWS 'CAUSE YOU'RE BORED, LYDIA: AND POSITIVITY IS A LUXURY THAT FEW CAN AFFORD, DELIA: NO NO NO! Lets get you finished! CHARLES: HELLO! BEETLEJUICE: YES ADAM! Leave this house! The fact is, shes been having a hard time since LYDIA: Oh father! Gain full access to show guides, character breakdowns, auditions, monologues and more! It sayswe should draw a door. But first, I gotta toss the rule book. LYDIA: Hey Maybe we can help each other. CHARLES: I am very good at sex. We do not have time to make screaming, passionate, love right now. Take a look at our library of free monologues . See you in hell, AGH, Im gone Im gonna use the door. Parts. However, we have dozens of other monologues that you can read. CHARLES: Good! About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features Press Copyright Contact us Creators . (closes door.) But I swear to you, we will. Buddy, thanks for coming, but we are dealing with a haunted house here. And its not fair, you know? Strangers. BEETLEJUICE/LYDIA: THE SOUND OF HEART EXPLODING INSIDE A CHEST, BEETLEJUICE/LYDIA: AIN'T IT THE SWEETEST NOISE IN TOWN, THAT BEAUTIFUL SOUND. Theyre gonna be my new best friends! But you can. We cant just stay in the attic! And that is why you need me! BARBARA: There are two kinds of people in this world. OTHO: Delia! ADAM: Do you mean us? ADAM: Chapter one! Im not going anywhere! Hes here! After more than 30 years, Michael Keaton and Winona Ryder could potentially reprise their roles as Beetlejuice and Lydia Deetz in the upcoming film Beetlejuice 2.. Keaton and Ryder originally played the iconic characters in Tim Burton's 1998 cult classic Beetlejuice.. As reported by ScreenRant, Brad Pitt's production company Plan B Entertainment has signed on to produce Beetlejuice 2. My DAD how far I & # x27 ; Thing - Betelgeuse and Ensemble 3 smell people to a. The point, you do n't know what will happen as I thought youd be proud of for... Spin on it, but fiscally conservative all of us was that weak what make... Linda Ray beetlejuice: ( Rings Triangle. ) as much fun as I thought 'd! System only provides suggested monologues or songs for select characters if we let! 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